You Are Powerful. Deal With It.
Thursday, September 30, 2010 at 8:40PM 
A few days ago, Sarah Robinson tweeted this quote:
"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
It was perfect timing. I've always loved that quote, but I don't think I fully understood it until last night.
Last night, I ran in a 5K race. To many of you, this will sound quite unremarkable. Compared to running marathons, competing in triathalons, or jumping out of airplanes, what's a little 5K run? But for me, it was a huge accomplishment. Why?
Running was the thing I thought I couldn't do.
I was always a slow runner. As a kid, I was tall and skinny with long legs. I looked like I should have been able to run. And yet I sucked at it.
I distinctly remember running in a relay race at the age of 12, pumping my arms and trying so hard I could barely breathe. The coach yelled at me: "This is a SPRINT! You should be SPRINTING!"
Note: I was sprinting. I couldn't go any faster. My team lost. I blamed myself. And I began to hate running.
As I got older, I found more reasons to hate running:
- Shin splints. I tried out for JV basketball sophomore year of high school and immediately got shin splints from all the running drills. It hurt so bad I ended up quitting to become the team statistician. No running involved.
- Breathing. I don't know what it is, but no matter how much I train, I am short of breath 2 minutes into every run. Eventually it evens out. Still, it sucks.
- Lack of grace. You know how you see some people running and they look like they're practically floating on air? Yeah. That's not me. When I run, I look all gangly and uncomfortable. Which (by the way) is exactly how I feel.
- Glasses. I can't wear my glasses when I run, and I'll be damned if I'm going to wear those prescription goggle things. So I run with terrible vision. It gives me a headache.
- Other pain. Even without the shin splints, my legs just don't handle running very well. My trainer says I have a "calf strain." My knee hurts for no apparent reason. It's like my legs find a different way to hurt each and every time I run.
Given all of the above, I quickly went from "I hate running" to "I can't run." I stayed in that "I can't run" mindset for about 15 years.
And then, 8 weeks ago, something clicked.
I was at the gym on the elliptical machine. Every once in a while I glanced over at the treadmill, and I swear it was like that treadmill was taunting me. I could hear it: "Look at you over there on that silly machine. How old are you? 65? Get over here already. What are you, chicken?"
I had been working out regularly for about 6 months by that point, so I knew I was in good physical condition. I decided to go for it. I got on the treadmill and committed to 3 minutes. I set the speed to 6 mph and began to run. It hurt. But I was invigorated. Something was happening.
When I got to 3 minutes, I decided to go for 5. And then I thought, "why not commit to a full mile?" So I did. I ran the mile in 10 minutes.
I couldn't believe it. Here I was, all these years, thinking I couldn't run. And then - just like that - I ran a mile. It got me thinking: "What else am I telling myself I can't do? What else am I capable of?"
I decided to run the 5K.
I found an 8 week training program and went to work - running 4 days per week, every week. It did a number on my legs. By the last 2 weeks of the program, I had to go back to the elliptical so that I would actually be able to run on race day.
And then, last night, it was time.
I was so nervous. Everything seemed foreign. I picked up my number at the registration desk and didn't know how to put it on my shirt (hint: safety pins). It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to attach the tag to my shoe that would allow them to time my run. Eventually I was ready and found my way to the starting line. That's me in the photo, number 2158.
The details of the race itself I'll save for another day. The short version is that it was hard. It was really hard. But I didn't stop. I didn't walk. I kept running. I finished in 32:16.
You "must do the thing you cannot do" because it gives you the power and strength to do something else: the thing you're meant to do.
When I finished the race, I was exhausted and sore. I was proud of myself for finishing, but I'm not sure whether I'll ever run another race. It doesn't really matter.
What matters is challenging your own limiting beliefs.
What matters is proving to yourself that you are more powerful than you thought.
What matters is that you carry that feeling into the thing you actually love to do - the thing you are meant to do.
I will never love running. But running the race last night made me feel powerful. And that's a much more effective mindset for running a business than the old "you just can't do it" philosophy.
You are powerful. Deal with it.
If there's one thing I know about "good girls," it's this: we fear power. In particular, we fear OUR OWN power. Whether we realize it or not, we are afraid to feel powerful because we think maybe people like us better when we're weak and needy.
Do not give in to that fear. Fight it. Fight it with everything you've got.
Because you ARE powerful. The only way to fulfill your purpose in life is to feel and use every ounce of that power in service of your life's work.
So go. Do the thing the think you can't do. Prove to yourself and everyone else that you are a powerful human being. Find out what you're really capable of so you can do the thing you're meant to do.
It's so worth it.
What do you think? Are you ready? What is the thing you think you can't do? What would it mean to you if you actually did that thing? What's stopping you? Share your thoughts in the comments!
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Previous Posts in "The Bad Girls' Guide to Business" Series:
Prologue - You Are Not A Work-At-Home Mom (Even If You Are)
Day 1 - Stop Being Such A Good Girl. Seriously.
Day 2 - Wanting to Make A Lot of Money Does Not Make You A Bitch.
Reader Comments (10)
I keep thinking I couldn't get any prouder of you. And then you uplevel. Such great stuff!!!
You go you bad girl!!
S.
Thanks, Sarah. I so appreciate your support & feedback :)
Traci
Traci - I will say it again, you are an amazing speaker! I could feel your voice, your conviction, your passion as I read this and I am motivated by your message! Thank you.
I cry every time I read your posts because you are so right on about what women feel. It is amazing what one can accomplish with a positive mindset. By the way, I used to run and I hate it!!!!
Susan - Thank you, and you're welcome :)
Claudia - Good to know I'm not the only one who hates it. Thanks for sharing :)
Great run Traci. I've seen you try before! It is amazing what we can do with our mind, AND OUR BODIES, once we put our minds to it. You are on a roll girlie, and I'm proud of what you've accomplished. But... even more.....I'm proud of what you have YET to accomplish and the many, many people who will benefit from it! Keep challenging yourself and others; we all need it!
Thanks, Mary Ann. It felt great to accomplish that goal, and now I'm ready to NOT run for a while :)
Still challenging myself of course, just in other ways for now...
I've been thinking about this since the first time I read it. And I'm reluctant to admit that the thing I cannot do is sell. (Since I tear up as I type that, I'm pretty sure I've hit it.) When I start hearing about leading questions and building urgency in a prospect by making them feel uncomfortable, I feel gross and dirty and manipulative.
I attended two networking/sales training events today, and I'm supposed to give a sales presentation on Tuesday morning.
Deer in headlights. Queasy. Every doubt I've ever had about myself chokes me. Every failure in my face.
Conquering this one absolutely will change my life.
(oh yeah, I hate running too.)
Hi Kate,
Whenever I hear someone say they don't like to "sell," I'm pretty sure they have the wrong idea about selling (or they are selling something they don't believe in).
Selling is about helping someone make a decision to move forward with something that can and will improve their lives in some way. If you truly believe that the thing you're selling will improve the prospect's life or situation, then "selling" starts to feel a lot like helping.
The only time I hated selling was during my brief stint as a telemarketer in college. I hated it because I hated the thing I was selling. Once I began to sell only things I loved & felt good about, selling became fun.
The thing about urgency is that we NEED it. It's the way we're wired. Making someone feel "uncomfortable" isn't about making them miserable - it's about getting them to feel the discomfort they are already experiencing so that they are mentally prepared to make a decision to change things.
As far as your sales presentation, a quick tip: think about it more like a conversation. Ask questions. Don't lecture. Make it your job to understand how the prospect feels throughout the meeting, and try to think about things from their perspective. What do they want & need to know in order to feel comfortable buying? What are they afraid of?
If you'd like to chat about this for a few minutes before Tuesday, send me a DM.
Good luck :)
Traci
YESSSSS.