Not Everyone Likes You. So What?
Thursday, November 11, 2010 at 7:12PM 
The past few weeks have been crazy. This week is the launch of the 180 Journey (the online program created by my business partner and me), and the amount of work that goes into a launch like ours is truly extraordinary.
But it's not just the amount of work that's hard.
What's also hard is this: when you're pitching something to a large number of people, it's inevitable that many of them won't like it or want it.
So people on your e-mail list will start unsubscribing. And your e-mail service will ask them why they're unsubscribing, and they will tell you. In many cases, they will be mean about it. And you will be tempted to curl up in a little ball and cry.
Don't do that.
[note: I am talking to myself here. Because I *was* tempted to curl up in a little ball and cry.]
Not everyone likes you. But that's okay.
It doesn't feel okay at first. It feels shitty.
You pour your heart and soul into your product or service, you try to be insanely authentic in your e-mails and sales letter, and then someone says you suck. It takes the wind out of you. Your energy levels begin to wane. You begin to second-guess yourself. You wonder what you could have done differently.
But you haven't done anything wrong.
You weren't talking to those people in the first place. They somehow ended up hearing what you had to say, but they're not your people. It's okay that they don't like you. You probably don't like them either.
Remember the people who love you.
I've gotten so many e-mails over the past few weeks from people saying the most wonderful things: "I'm drawn to you through your writing," "the content you put out is incredible, "thank you for putting this out into the world." The people who have already signed up for the 180 Journey are excited and happy and can't wait to get started. So why am I focusing on the negative stuff?
Why do we focus on the people who don't like us when there are so many people who do?
I'm not exactly sure.
But I've decided it doesn't work for me anymore. And it certainly doesn't work for my business.
So I have a new rule. When someone I don't know or care about has a problem with something I've said or done, and I know I haven't done anything wrong, I'm going to say "so what?" and move on. It's business. I have more important things to think about.
If you know me or follow me on Twitter and you find me breaking this rule, call me out on it. I'll try to do the same for you. Because there are so many people who love you, and they're the ones who deserve your time, energy, and focus.
If you need to, practice with me: "So what?"
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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Reader Comments (4)
Traci,
This "so what" business is right up my alley, especially given how "not sorry" I am (via my post yesterday). I love this. And am so excited for you about this new venture!!!
p.s. how could anyone NOT like you or what you have to say??? Pshaw.
Excellent post. Thank you!
Great reminder, Traci. It's important to focus on the people who need and want what we have to offer and our offers certainly aren't for everyone. It's a shame some feel the need to be mean or rude if our stuff doesn't resonate with them, but you're right, "so what?" is the only way to go in these cases.
Keep doing what you do. A lot of us DO want to hear what you have to say. :)
I agree! It's a tough lesson to learn, but various coaches I've worked with have consistently said:
Spend 80% of your time and attention on your best performers and only 20% on those that need to improve or need handholding. Our nature is to want to give more attention to the squeaky wheel, but really we should reverse that.
Glad you've come to this decision! Way to go.
I am an entire year behind reading this post, as I just discovered you by reading "Twitter Marketing: An Hour a Day". Anyway, I just wanted to comment that I just had this experience...from a member of a business women's support group I joined. When I got the "I don't like it" comment concerning a presentation that I thought was just great, I was stunned for a moment. What? What do you mean you don't like it, I thought. How is that possible? Thankfully, that only lasted about an hour, I got over it quickly and just said to myself (and her), well everything is not for everyone. I thanked her for her feedback and moved on. I figured that since I am a new entrepreneur, I've got to get used to the idea that everyone WON'T like what I do...and that's okay.