Moms: Embarrassed To Be The Breadwinner?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 4:04PM I recently figured out that a lot of breadwinner moms are in the closet. They don't want anyone to know that they make more than their husbands, or that (in some cases) their husbands don't earn anything at all.
When they hear other moms complain that their husbands get home from work so late, or that they can't find enough things to do with the kids during the day, these closeted breadwinner moms just smile and nod. Instead of talking about their situation, they hide it and hope no one asks what their husbands do for a living.
This is nuts.
The breadwinner moms I know are amazing women and incredible mothers. They work hard all day, every day, to support their families and provide great lives for their children. Where's the pride? Where's the sense of accomplishment? Are these moms actually embarrassed to be the breadwinner? Do they think it reflects poorly on them as women?
Whatever the reason, it's time for this ridiculousness to stop. If you can't tell, I'm really fired up about this issue and I intend to do something about it.
I want to start a series on this blog featuring amazing breadwinner moms.
I want to interview successful breadwinner moms, highlight their accomplishments, and share any advice they have for other moms who are bringing home the bacon. What do you think? Do you know anyone (including yourself) who might be a good interview subject? If so, contact me and nominate a breadwinner mom for this project!
And as always, I invite you to (please!) share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments.
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Traci Feit Love is an entrepreneur and small business consultant. Check out Traci's current project at The 180 Journey. Follow Traci on Twitter at @tracilove.
Reader Comments (4)
Interesting point, Traci. I wonder if some of this is because we're concerned about how people will react to our partners, or possibly how our partners themselves will feel? Men have traditionally been the breadwinners for so long we're hardwired socially to expect it.
I love the fact that a growing number of men are becoming full time carers for their children - it shows a real maturity in the relationship when they can do that without feeling that they're less manly. We really do need to break down these social stereotypes, don't we?
@Vandy - Thanks for raising an excellent question. I'm honestly not sure how much of this is about our partners and how much is about us. Are we worried about how our husbands feel about being stay-at-home dads, or are we worried about what other moms think of us for being married to non-income-producing men? I hope to learn more about this phenomenon and report back.
Hi,
There are some days when you hate to be BW mom.But your article is motivating material for them to rebuild their mindset.By the way,this one is nice article.
Can't wait for a follow up on this. I am curious. I am proud to be one but I can imagine others are not. I think the husbands that stay at home have it harder than the breadwinner mom's with this issue. Society looks down more on them, which is a shame.