I Want Mommy! (For Now)
Sunday, July 5, 2009 at 10:44AM 
Carly (my 15 month old daughter) is going through a Mommy-centric phase right now. According to the experts, this is perfectly normal at her age, and she will outgrow it before too long. That's good - I think.
On the one hand, it's not easy going to work every day accompanied by the sounds of Carly screaming. She always calms down after a couple of minutes, of course, and goes back to playing happily. Still, my least favorite part of every day is leaving her in the morning to go to my office. I kind of dread it.
On the other hand, it's nice to know she cares. As a mom who works full-time, one of my biggest fears is that Carly will simply lose interest in me; that she'll bond closely with my husband (a stay-at-home dad) and think of me as a sort of back-up parent. That would, like, totally suck.
It's a delicate balance, isn't it? I certainly don't want her to be miserable every time I leave her side, but I also don't want her to be totally fine with it (as in, "so Mommy's leaving...whatever").
The thing I've come to realize is that I can't control any of this. It's an obvious point, but an important realization for me nonetheless. Right now, she hates when I leave her. In a few years (or maybe sooner), she won't mind as much. When she's a teenager, she'll love it. And I can't really do much about any of that.
All I can really do is be the best Mom I know how to be, and try to enjoy all of Carly's stages and phases while they last. Enjoy the neediness and closeness now, and enjoy the freedom that comes later as she grows up. I guess what's most important to me is that Carly always knows how much I love her, no matter how old she is.
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Reader Comments (1)
Wow, could not have been better said!!!!!!!!
Such ambivilent feelings, everything I ever felt and more.
Once again, so proud to be your MOM, and so proud of how you get your feelings down and out there.
There were always times when you and your brother selected one or the other of your parents to hug or a lap to crawl into, but it always evened out in the end somehow.
There were times when no matter what I did you wanted Daddy and there were times that Daddy just couldn't do it.
The outcome was great, the proof is in the pudding.
I love you,
Momee