What My 14-Month Old Taught Me About Fear
Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 10:29AM Yesterday I took Carly (my 14 month old daughter) to the hospital for some routine blood work. Seeing as how I can barely keep from fainting when I have my own blood drawn, I was not looking forward to the experience.
I had all sorts of horrible visions floating around in my head - nurses strapping her down to a table, Carly screaming and crying, needles jamming into her arm, etc. Partly because of all this worrying, I insisted on taking her for the procedure myself (even though my husband could have taken her). I didn't want her to have to go through this nightmare without her mommy.
As it turned out, Carly was unaware that this was supposed to be a horrible experience. When I took her back for the blood draw, and the nurse started prepping her arm, Carly just looked at her arm and the nurse with intense curiosity. When the needle went in, she didn't even flinch. No crying, no screaming, nothing. Just a look on her face that said, "Well this is a new one. I wonder what this is all about?"
The hardest part about the whole thing was getting Carly to leave the gauze bandage on her arm after the procedure was over. She had great fun ripping it off every time the nurse put a new one on.
When we got home, I couldn't stop thinking about how well Carly had handled the blood test. I realized that because she had no preconceptions about the procedure - no prior experiences with nurses unable to find a vein, no mental gross-out factor ("omg, they're sucking blood out of me!") - she had no reason to be afraid. And so she wasn't.
It's a lesson we can all try to learn from when faced with things that scare us. Strip away the preconceptions, forget about past experiences, and look at the situation with a fresh perspective.
Try to be curious rather than afraid. It's harder than it sounds, of course. And sometimes we have good reason to be afraid. But if we can minimize the mental hang-ups that hold us back, we'll probably have an easier time dealing with the thing we're afraid of. It might turn out that there was nothing to fear in the first place.
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Reader Comments (6)
Yup, my kid did that too. The hospital was apparently ready for a big fluster, too - she got a stuffed bear to calm her down - but no calming necessary.
Trying to be curious rather than afraid in my own life seems like a good goal, but I don't know if I can extend that to having my blood drawn!
Hartley - you're not the only one. I am the worst with getting blood drawn. I was going to say "I am the biggest baby when it comes to having blood drawn," but apparently that is totally not fair and insulting to babies :)
My husband is the baby when it comes to needles, after three horrific pregnancies, I can get a shot without blinking. He on the other hand, passes out every single time. The children have seen it and laugh about it now. (though the first time was different)
Ya know, as a parent we often think it is our sole job to teach the children around us. But sometimes, without us knowing it, a lesson or two is thrown in our direction. The most important part is being aware and ready and most of all, open to receive the message.
Great blog, I look forward to reading more of it and I hope you decide to stop by.www.antisoccermom.com
December -
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I checked out your blog and found it hilarious. I especially liked the post about terrible family photos - readers, check it out here: http://www.antisoccermom.com/2009/06/09/terrible-family-photos-and-where-they-went-wrong/
Traci
What a great lesson that people of all ages can learn from.
Thanks Aurelia!