Work, Play, Call It A Day
Monday, May 25, 2009 at 1:06PM 
So here I am, working on Memorial Day. I feel guilty that I'm not doing something fun with my husband and daughter instead, but if I weren't working I'd feel guilty for that too.
It's an ongoing dilemma, especially for business owners like me who (seem to) have more control over their working hours than employees.
We all know that family is the most important thing. When we're on our deathbeds we won't say, "I wish I worked more." We all know that spending time with family has to be the number one priority.
But if we follow that argument all the way to its logical conclusion, we should all quit our jobs, move to Walden Pond with our families and sit around spending time together forever.
Of course that's not going to happen. Families have to eat and wear clothes and buy computers and stuff.
So on any given day, especially when I'm in charge of my business and can decide exactly when to get my work done, how do I decide whether (and for how long) to work or play?
I ask myself a series of questions. How urgent is the work? How much longer can I put something off? How much time can I spend with my family without it negatively impacting my business? No matter how I answer those questions, and no matter what I decide, I'm probably going to feel guilty and worry that I made the wrong decision.
If you've read my blog before, you know that I'm against useless guilt. So if I were capable of following my own advice, I would quit feeling guilty. I would work as much as necessary to maintain my family's standard of living, and then spend quality time with my husband and daughter. I would be proud of myself for my financial contributions, and for the time I'm able to spend just being a mom. I would remember that I'm doing a great job and have nothing to feel guilty about.
Come to think of it, that's pretty good advice. I think I'll take it.
What do you think? If you have any say in the matter, how do you decide when to work and when to spend time with family? Do you feel guilty about your decisions? Please share in the comments! And if you'd like to get updates whenever there's a new post on The Breadwinner Mom, click here to subscribe!
photo credit: Evil Erin
Reader Comments (4)
I say, even for business owners, if your work is not really needed on a day like Memorial Day
( hospital workers, restaurant owners or public swimming pool employees), and that if you were employed by a company and would have had off, then I think you should take the day off. But that's probably easy for me to say since i'm not a business owner. Take my advice for Labor Day, before we know it there will be another 3 day weekend ahead. Just my 2 cents!
useless guilt does suck, but i definitely fall victim to it more than i should. i freelance write for a living so my work hours are "flexible." my office is also at home. what that means is that work can often spill over into family time and vice versa. it is a constant tug-of-war for me...if i accept this project, will that be taking on too much? will i have to then sacrifice that ever-precious family time to get 'er done? for the most part, i think i do a pretty good job juggling. but, recently, i did have a bout of guilt when i had a deadline on my daughter's last day of preschool. apparently they all presented a gift to the teacher during the last 15 minutes of class. all the stay at home moms had gathered in the classroom for the presentation....except moi. moi was stuck behind the computer banging furiously to meet a deadline. marley came home and happily reported that rosalyn, our nanny, was "the only babysitter there and the rest were mommies."
woops.
my husband comforted me saying, "you are there for every other single event. she knows mommy works hard. she knows you love her."
useless guilt? maybe. but, guilt nonetheless...
http://chroniclesofmomnia.blogspot.com
Hi Mandi,
Thanks for your comment! I think I'm going to take the next 3-day weekend off and make the most of it :)
Traci
Hi Rosana,
Sounds like we are in the same boat, and I would probably feel exactly as you did in that situation. But I do believe our daughters will ultimately benefit from our hard work - both from the financial stability it helps create and from seeing strong mom role models. Go us! :)
Traci