When Daddy Knows Best
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 10:45AM 
A couple of weeks ago, I came downstairs at the end of the work day and sat down for some quality Carly time. I was in my favorite chair, and Carly was standing in front of me and fussing a little.
I couldn't figure out what she wanted. She wasn't hungry, she wasn't tired, she had plenty of toys, and I was giving her my full attention.
My husband had a suggestion.
Him: "Try getting down on the floor and wrestling with her a little."
Me: "She can do that? Are you sure?"
Him: "Yeah, she loves it."
So I got down on the floor and gave it a shot. And guess what? She loved it.
I was really happy that my husband new exactly what Carly wanted, and I had tons of fun playing with Carly as he had suggested. Still, there was something a little disconcerting about the whole thing.
Wasn't I supposed to know Carly best? Wasn't I, as her mother, duty-bound to know every single thing about her? If Daddy knows something Mommy doesn't know, is that a sign of a good Daddy, or of a bad Mommy?
The answer, of course, is: good Daddy.
It's important to remember that parenting is not a competition, and that the more love there is in our kids' lives, the better. As our kids get older there will be more and more things we don't know about them, and there will be more and more people with whom our kids share their lives. That's a good thing - all part of the process of kids growing up, and moms letting go (at least a little).
But no one's saying this "letting go" thing is easy, least of all me. So if you don't mind, I'm going to go give my daughter a hug now.
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photo credit: powerbooktrance
Reader Comments (6)
loved this post...so many sahm mom blogs out there that i'm looking forward to reading about your experiences "wearing the pants" in the family, so to speak.
http://chroniclesofmomnia.blogspot.com
Traci,
There were many times when your father knew just what to do for you.
I was trying to balance making dinner and your fussy moment .
Daddy would walk in take you , put you on his shoulder and just start walking and bouncing you around.... never failed, the crying stopped.
It just seemed like I've been with my mommy all day, where is my dad?
I was happy because you were so much happier.
I love you ,
your mom always
aww cuteness! (and your moms story too!)! As parents we all bring different skills, likes, dislikes, etc. to the process of raising our kids... and breadwinner moms in particular, we tend to think we have aaaallll the answers all the time. or that we should. for me, watching my son ask (tell) my husband how to play car racing or my husband walking by and just start wrestling with our son - is a reminder that oooh here i dont have to have all the answers or know everything - sometimes i just get to sit back and enjoy the show! (or clean the kitchen... which ever) it's just awesome when your kid is happy :)
Rosana -
Thanks for your comment! I'll be reading your blog too :)
Hi Kate,
Thanks for your comment. I couldn't agree with you more about the sense of relief that comes from realizing we don't have to know EVERYTHING at all times, and that "it's just awesome when your kid is happy." Sooooo true. I also find that it's awesome when your kid is sleeping :)
Hello My Love,
Too many years of brainwashing regarding our culture of Mom's know best----Marriage/parenting is a team effort, without winners or losers----try to remind youself you've only been at this for a little over a year now----you didn't get your degree in law in so short a time-----you can take all the parenting classes you want, but the real lessons are learned on the job as with anything else in this life----I think it's great your parenting skills are developing-----you mentioned the most sage advice anyone could have in their wisdom bank, and that is, "It's not a competition"----Just remember this, my precious friend, It matters less who the messenger is, but it matters most that you get the message-----and as long as Miss Carly, Mommy and Daddy are happy, what more could any parents desire?-----You are doing such a great job, and by baby two, (not suggesting such) your confidence will be overflowing-----keep up the great work your are doing thus far----your questioning is the path to true wisdom.
hugs and giggles to you and yours